Is It Ever OK to Lie?

Dec 2023 / Jan 2024

Your friend just asked if you want to go to a concert. The problem is, you really don’t love the band’s music. But you know your friend’s feelings might get hurt if you say no, so you lie and say you have to stay home to study for a big test. Is that OK? On one hand, it’s sometimes easier to tell a little white lie if it’ll protect someone’s feelings. On the other hand, shouldn’t you always be honest? There’s also the possibility that the person will find out that you lied. Is it ever OK to tell a fib?

Yes

People often frown upon lying, but a small fib can sometimes help to prevent bad feelings among you and your friends. For example, after a long day at school, going to a social event is the last thing I want to do. If I hang out with my friends when I’m tired, I just don’t have fun. But I find it hard to simply tell my friends I don’t want to spend time with them. I worry that they might feel unwanted. In this case, I think there’s nothing wrong with saying that I have homework, or that my parents need me to come straight home. My friends don’t get offended, and I don’t have to hang out when I don’t feel like it. These types of small lies can help everyone to feel better.

—Kalissa Huang, a freshman from California

No

It is not OK to tell a lie, even if it’s a small one. If you lie once, you’ll have to keep lying to support the initial lie! One time, I declined an invitation to a friend’s party, claiming that I had a fever even though I was actually fine. Then my friend’s mom called my parents to check on me. I had to ask my family to lie on my behalf. After that experience, I realized lying is just not worth it. I felt bad about dragging my parents into my lie. I also felt guilty about the damage I could have done to my friendship. If my friend had found out I lied to her, her feelings would have been hurt. It would have been better for everyone if I’d just declined the invitation. Now I believe honesty is always the best policy.